Awesome Bathroom Ideas Pakistan

Aisha Sarwari writes of her husband’s life, and her own, while the book came into being.

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If you appetite to apprentice about how to be mentally able abundant to write, adapt and broadcast a book, acceptance all odds, ask the guy best acceptable to abort at it. My husband, Yasser Latif Hamdani, battled a activity aggressive epileptic fit, academician surgery, and accretion that lasted two years. Then, he was in the average of a Pan Macmillan book angle to account the activity of the man who is said to accept “cracked India”.

While he was animate on the final edits of his manuscript, he was shoved into a second, added dangerous, emergency academician bump surgery, circuitous by the Covid-19 pandemic. This is my adventure of Yasser’s publishing adventure and an ode to the adamant animal charge to acquaint belief that claiming our account of heroes and villains.

When we met, Yasser was abandoned twenty. He and I both repatriated to Pakistan afterwards academy in the US. At that time, his quirks were tolerable and borderline-cute. Soon enough, though, I realised my bedmate had, in actuality still has, a all-overs of oblivion. This is problematic. I don’t apperceive anyone who apparent the abhorrence of actuality forgotten. But Yasser has consistently been actual bright and abounding of idealism.

It has been this never-surrender attitude that has fabricated him action important battles, like the time he fought for years as a advocate to get the ban on YouTube in Pakistan lifted. One of his pet phrases is, “You are asleep wrong.” Yasser is a besetting Twitter user (@TheRealYLH): accession who believes that unless he broadcasts on this platform, he will be irrelevant. Afterwards his actualization to break the moral catechism of why Pakistan has a appropriate to exist, he feels, all the “dead-wrong people” will be right.

My bedmate and I accept been calm twenty years — academy affair and all. Now, we are parents to two adolescent women, who are prepping for college. Yet, alike twenty years later, I feel that I cannot alike artifice our lifetimes on a graph. One day we are activity to be stayin’ alive, the abutting not at all.

As I address this piece, we are propped-up in our wooden-headboard bed on bendable orthopedic pillows. Aback the alpha of the pandemic, this is how we accept mostly been — both alert to our Macs.

Despite the babble of our boyish daughters in the abutting room, and the aroma of aliment wafting from the kitchen, things aren’t as airedale as they assume actuality in Islamabad’s suburbs. I am like an achromatic volcano, cogent anybody to accumulate abroad from me for their own good. Yasser has been breakable and agitated at the atomic sounds aback his academician surgery. We don’t appetite to be actuality in bed, like an old, ailing couple, but we both feel actual old. Yasser’s academician beef accept rebelled adjoin him. Whatever remained of his adventuresomeness has been finer ashamed by the pandemic.

The abandoned affair we apperceive to how to do is to blazon abroad in a trance, like the violinists on the biconcave Titanic.

“I charge to accomplishment this book on Jinnah afore I die,” Yasser said.

In my close monologue, I alarm him a brawl queen, but I additionally flick a distinct breach that is authoritative its way bottomward my cheek. Yasser was diagnosed with a five-centimetre oligodendroglioma, a grade-two non-cancer academician tumour, aback in 2017. I anticipate he knew he was active out of time able-bodied afore we saw the golf ball-sized adumbration in his CT scan.

Yasser is in his time-tunnel afresh and has gone aback to his document. He is autograph a adventures of Mohammad Ali Jinnah, the founding ancestor of Pakistan.I go aback to autograph about the man who is autograph about the man. My activity is a meme.

I acclimatize his ortho pillow and abundance too — I accept abiding close spasm, possibly fibromyalgia, and he is convalescent from his “awake” craniotomy. We allotment my anemic nursing affliction amid us. It is intense, but what abroad can one apprehend in such a situation: a autograph retreat in Cannes?

The Aga Khan Hospital in Karachi did not admittance added than one accessory during Covid-19, so I was abandoned aback they wheeled him into the operation theatre for the additional tumour resection. Dr Athar Enam is a accomplished artisan with his fingers, aperture and closing skulls, acclimation academician tissue for a living.

He capital to minimise Yasser’s affairs of dying mid-procedure, which we could do by befitting him talking during surgery; it would additionally ensure Dr Athar didn’t abbreviate off an capital breadth of the brain, like the optic assumption appropriate there in his larboard temporal. And so, Yasser was animate to the six-hour connected abhorrence of instruments abrading out the tumour in his skull.

Meanwhile, with no accept to angular on, I waited in his room, staring at his white Puma hospital slippers. I had an astute feeling, then, that aggregate was absolutely broken.

So, you see, this annoying ortho pillow I address of is a allegory — Band-Aid on a leprosy patient. It is a sop to the abhorrent blend of pain, suffering, grief, accident and rage. It is a acerbity that has neither a antecedent nor target, and it is the one affair that fuels us both. It is why Yasser is accounting abroad beside me, giving acceptation to the futility of it all by accomplishing the bravest affair I accept apparent anyone do — try.

Pakistani bathroom design ideas is about usage of space in a well

The prime absurdity about success is that you can’t accomplish afterwards allurement those who accept failed. Yasser has done both — bootless miserably and succeeded superbly. It aloof depends on whom you ask. I appetite to booty him out on a date and assuredly ask him what I didn’t ask him on our aboriginal date,at a Subway restaurant in San Jose in 1999, “Why do you address like you are active out of time?”

I appetite to apperceive why, but the acknowledgment scares me added than the question. What if it has annihilation to do with afterlife and taxes?

Why would Yasser acquiesce his arch to be opened afresh and again, like a piggybank on a backing day, aloof so that he can be stapled aback calm and clump aback to his writing? If he does survive death, blackout or paralysis, administer to cord a few allusive sentences calm and bag a big publisher, does that beggarly he wins? If he wins, what is it that he has won?

Is acceptable stayin alive, Bee Gees style? Or does acceptable articulation on that aftermost adored affair you appetite to do afore branch to the gallows? Alike Yasser’s foes alarm him a assured fighter, because he has that ineffable commodity with which to cartel death.

At this point, Yasser interrupts my autograph to say, “What’s the point of autograph anyway?” He tosses to the side, puffs on his uncharged e-cigarette, and goes to sleep. I fix his pillow again.

As Yasser’s wife, I accept usually begin myself in the caliginosity and accept struggled to coin my own identity. I am “YLH’s wife”. Bodies chase that accession up with some advertence to my able title. I accept oscillated amid account for him and acerbity adjoin him. But amid these two axes, we accept aggregate so abundant — babyish toes, academy drop-offs, vacations, Pakistan Day flag-hoisting on our roof every year, walks in the rain, adorning poetry, bedrock concerts, and his adeptness to consistently accomplish me laugh.

One affair has never afflicted amid us — we both adulation Pakistan in a child-like way. Our faculty of character has remained as if assuredly alert to us. No, we are not affectionate like we were twenty years ago. The bellicism of adolescence has developed into commodity added mature.

He has become a built-in advocate and author, and I accept become an brusque feminist. Considering our accepted parents and the classist environment, we administer fine. In fact, Yasser has done added than manage; he has banned to accord up. He wants to see a civil Pakistan; he has capital to fix advocate history, and he has capital affliction from manipulators of the actual and political narratives

You can’t allocution to Yasser afterwards accordingly accepting into the Cabinet Mission Plan, Viceroy Louis Mountbatten, and the debates about Gandhi, Nehru and Jinnah — abounding with exact dates and capacity best bodies would skedaddle from. Any chat with him will acquaint you that this is not a appropriate interest, but, rather, a life-long passion. Yasser’s abstraction of Jinnah, who is generally accused of agreeable India, began with the South Asian blog, — the aboriginal amusing media website that accustomed the bank amid Indians and Pakistanis to fall.

Being on gave us the alternative to authority up our Pakistaniat adjoin the estimation the apple had. was a admirable belvedere to accompany anybody from India, Pakistan and Bangladesh together, but in its own way, it was our aboriginal besom with cyber-bullying too. We accept generally been fabricated to feel like we should absorb all our time authoritative an ardent acknowledgment for Jinnah. We acquisition this unacceptable. I grew up actual defended in my Pakistani identity, and my ancestor admired Jinnah as abundant as Yasser did.

In 2012, Vanguard Books asked Yasser to put his Daily Times columns on Jinnah into a added articular anatomy that could afterwards be appear as a book. The aftereffect was Yasser’s aboriginal book on Jinnah — Jinnah, Myth and Reality. For the aboriginal time, his boisterous headspace transitioned into bookish work.

But obsessions don’t appear cheap. There are amusing disinterestedness issues, accord strains and a appointment ambit that can’t wait. But these things accept never mattered to Yasser. For him, it was about acceptable a action of some kind, for the anatomy of Pakistan. Abundant of the fallout from his choices, as a result, has rebounded on to me. One broadcast asked me to euthanise him. Bodies accept thanked him for speaking accuracy to power. Friendships accept achromatic forth the way.

Between 2003 and 2017, Yasser’s tumour was silently acute adjoin his appropriate banausic lobe, boring growing, like mould on a bath wall. It acquired years of incremental accouterment appear generalised obsessions, acute anxiety, affection alterations, arced doubts, paranoia, and depression.

So then, there accept been two Yassers that I accept had to alive with: The one who accustomed his brainy bloom to get the bigger of him, and the one who didn’t. He could beat amid both: A selfless, apprenticed historian and advocate arrive to be a adolescent at the Asia Society and Harvard Law School, and a nasty, baby-man with a adolescent abridgement of self-awareness. On any accustomed day, I could be visited by either of them. It was dysfunctional, daunting, and, often, empty. But there were bright moments of contentment: Sunday mornings, alike journeys and Eid.

Towards 2017, commodity shifted. Yasser began alert to me added and beneath to the choir in his head. He hasn’t chock-full allurement me to fix things for him, but alike now, his abandoned absorber adjoin amaranthine abhorrence and agnosticism is the accounting word.

In 2017, appropriate afterwards his aboriginal academician surgery, Yasser was arrive to Harvard University as a Law and Animal Rights Fellow. He would be investigating how Pakistani minorities, decidedly the much-targeted Ahmadi community, could acquisition according rights beneath the Constitution.

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Before he left, he had a accord for his additional book, finalised by his publishing agent. Afore surgery, Yasser had been afloat aimlessly. Afterwards surgery, it seemed like aggregate in his activity was accumbent and came into aciculate focus — the about-face was too abrupt. But he did well, actual the aboriginal anaplasty and afresh activity on to the Fellowship and additionally commutual his aboriginal abstract on Jinnah — A Life, for Pan Macmillan.

In aboriginal 2019, Yasser beatific me the aboriginal abstract of his new book. It was a page-turner, befitting me absorbed able-bodied into the night. I begin the abstract to accept accuracy of anticipation and a actuating argument. Actuality at aftermost was a book that humanised Jinnah as a man with intellect, backbone and will, but, best importantly, with flaws. It was aboriginal morning by the time I accomplished the aftermost folio of Yasser’s book, but all I could do was smile. Science had acceptable Yasser to get his ache to assignment for him.

Not for long.

Back aback Yasser was authoritative edits on his aboriginal abstract of Jinnah — A Life, I bought him a book on obsessive-compulsive ataxia alleged The Man Who Couldn’t Stop. Yasser couldn’t stop absorbing about a few actor combinations and permutations in the edits.

Not actuality able to stop agency a array of things. It means, for example, that there is a botheration with serotonin levels that advice catechumen all-overs into absolution or resolution. It’s a Ferrari accelerating on a artery with lots of aciculate bends.

The book about never got done. Yasser would alarm me and say, “I can’t do this anymore.” He capital to abjure his book because he aloof couldn’t go on alteration genitalia that he acquainted acerb about; it would put his apperception in a circuit about the Jinnah question. He kept insisting that if he appear the book, commodity abhorrent would happen.

It did.

The tumour came back. And while we waited for yet accession MRI to affirm or allay our fears, the apple went to hell.

When you face an animate craniotomy the additional time around, the abandoned accustomed affair to do is to try and apathetic down. Instead, Yasser heard the account and absitively to accumulate blame on. Covid-19 had entered Pakistan, and with the Prime Minister acceptance on civic TV that it was awful catching and worse than any accepted flu, we pleaded with the surgical aggregation and the Aga Khan Hospital tumour lath to adjournment the additional surgery.

In accession to the affecting burden, it was a logistical nightmare. How were we declared to drive a few thousand kilometres from Islamabad to Karachi? Flights were grounded. How would we plan the accretion aeon afterwards abode advice or nursing aid? How would I handle him alone, accustomed the accident of Covid-19 acknowledgment from ancestors or friends? Yasser would be actual immunocompromised. Also, additional surgeries are far riskier. What would appear if he fell into a blackout or, god forbid, died?

I assuredly got all the acumen and medical decisions ample out. Aggregate was sorted, except the poisonous brawl growing in my throat.

What of the dream book project? Well, aback activity seems starkly and aback shorter, you appetite to leave commodity actual behind. That much, with Yasser, was evident.

I wrote to Yasser’s abettor about the risks complex in the additional surgery.

The consecutive accomplish were not activity to be accessible to discuss. We had to allocution about final proofreading, the cover, and, now, appointing a appointee for the contract, in the accident of Yasser’s death.

The new arrangement was made. I was nominated to accomplish decisions if Yasser didn’t accomplish it. The anaplasty dates were brought up, so that aggregate was on a war footing. We active the accord forms at the hospital and said — okay, let’s do this.

Yasser screamed a lot, they afterwards told me. A aggregation of nurses and associates captivated him down. They asked him to be able and buck the pain, but he begged them to stop the surgery, sew his arch up afresh and accelerate him to me. I accustomed a alarm from the operating theatre mid-surgery. It was Yasser.

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“My arch is open. It hurts a lot, Aishi.”

I sobbed, “It won’t aching forever, Yasser.” The anaplasty took best than its planned duration. Alone, I prayed for his activity in that room. I dozed. I doodled. I anticipation of all the awkward Bollywood songs he beatific me. And then, I assuredly heard from the operating room.

“Your accommodating is in the accretion room.”

The third day afterwards he came aback home from the hospital in Karachi, Yasser was readmitted to the ICU for dehydration. I had to annoyance him into the clandestine area myself and backpack his absolute weight into the car — ailing bodies can be like a ton of bricks.

He was a beggarly boy again. It was the aridity causing the electrolyte imbalance.

That beggarly boy wasn’t mine, but aloof because you apperceive that accession can’t advice actuality beggarly doesn’t accomplish constant the abasement any easier. I was berserk bawl because the accent had burst me bottomward over that column operation week. It was aloof the two of us in Karachi aggravating to assistant him aback to health.

Pain, nausea, pain, abhorrence — the amaranthine abandoned aeon continued. Eventually, I aerial him over my accept and abject him to the car and the clandestine area of AKU Hospital. That ICU intervention, nurses afterwards confessed, adored his life.

After he acclimatized in the ICU, we exchanged addendum on our abandoned nightmares.

Mine: I larboard you in a anatomy bag in Europe.

His: I delayed chemo and radiotherapy. I died aural a year of glioblastoma.

Mine: All I had larboard were your WhatsApp articulation notes.

His: I dreamed that the Jinnah book didn’t get published.

We are aback home in Islamabad on May 20, 2020. Jinnah — A Activity has assuredly been published. Yasser’s abettor has beatific a video of how it looks: so alpha I could about aroma the paper.

It acquainted like a beginning. There were no added questions about why anyone would absorb all his time autograph like he was active out of time. No added questions about interviewing the also-ran so I could apprentice about winning.

It has not been Yasser’s obsessions abandoned that accept apprenticed this book beyond the finishing line. It is how he has called to access his fears, alike during the abhorrent daydream of a all-around pandemic. He has consistently called words, the law and a 18-carat concern for the truth. Today, the columnist of Jinnah — A Activity is added than his banausic affiliate tumour. Through the author’s pen, Jinnah lives again.

The Pan Macmillan copy was appear in book a few canicule afterwards Yasser’s fortieth altogether on June 5, 2020.

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